Wednesday, March 24
25 miles.
Woke up to a few inches of snow all around us. My pine needle nest actually kept me warm all night. Was on a slant but for the most part slept soundly through the night even though it was definitely below freezing (as indicated by all my water bottles being frozen). There was a big storm all around us, we could hear the wind going wild all around us but the spot we had chosen was really well protected to we didn’t get battered around for once.
We took the lower Henry’s alt which skirted the base of Mt Ellen. It was freezing cold all morning with strong winds blowing fresh powder on us at regular intervals. Thankfully it didn’t actually snow or rain on us as we hiked. We got some great up close views of Mt Ellen and Mt Penn. We also passed through snowy pine and aspen forest which made it feel like such a different trail. Felt more like the Rockies or even the Sierra than the Colorado Plateau.
We made good time to Pennellen pass and the back onto the HDT route. As soon as we dropped in elevation, the snow and cold cleared up quickly. We hopped onto Tarantula Mesa road, a dirt road that runs through the namesake Tarantula Mesa, a long open mesa that stretches out for miles and miles. We did stop at Airplane spring, a spring named after a pilot who had crashed and died not far from the spring. It seems kinda wierd to name the spring after the thing that killed the pilot instead of the pilot himself but whatever.
From Tarantula Mesa we dropped down into a canyon down a very steep loose sand and choss chute. It sucked but thankfully it was cairned and relatively short. From there we hiked along a wash and a little cross country to the first flat cow shit covered spot we could find. A cozy pine forest this is not.
That’s the basic description of what the day was like. What is not mentioned is how fucking miserable I felt all day. The morning was fine, cold and miserable but fun in a way. The afternoon was a shit show. I felt awful mentally all day and have been depressed for what feels like days now. I keep being shitty to Jordan, again being upset at him for being slower than me, and he’s pretty tired of it. We are way ahead of schedule and average more miles per day than we had planned but I still want to finish faster. I feel like shit and regret coming on this hike. I knew going into it that my heart wasn’t really in it and I should have listened to that.
The only reason I haven’t bailed yet is because bailing would be more of a pain in the ass than continuing on. I’d have to do a stupid long hitch to either Moab or St George, rent a car and get all my resupply stuff back then figure out what to do until my sublease expired. I’d also have to bail on Jordan who I think would be able to finish but probably wouldn’t be happy about it. I’d also probably have to come back someday to finish this goddamn thing and that would be even worse than continuing now.
So I’m not going to bail but I don’t know how to enjoy this hike. There have been some really great moments and sights along the way but I’ve gotten so little joy from the overall experience. I’ve been so anxious about all the water carries and caches and resupplies and alternates and I just want to be fucking done.
That’s enough of this pity party for now I guess. Nothing else to do but keep hiking.
Plants Outside 